Unveiling the story behind my book

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

James Baldwin

Having lived with persistent anxiety over the years, I found my experience reaching new heights during the pandemic months of extended lockdown. It wasn't the isolation, as I was comfortable in solitude. I thought it was uncertainty, but I knew the authorities would not deny me my right to seek treatment for my medical condition. Yet I dwelled on this imposition as an excuse not to face surgery, the only solution to my predicament.

Abstract anxiety is a peculiar condition. It is a unique experience of undefined fear, a pervasive apprehension without a clear cause. It was a very unsettling feeling since it lacked a specific target, which prevented me from addressing the cause.

Although this condition affects different individuals differently, for me it manifested as a constant unease and occasional restlessness, which left me with a heightened sense of vulnerability. It was very frustrating not being able to identify what triggered my apprehension.

It wasn't until the moment before I was wheeled into the operating theatre for my surgery--a major procedure for my doctor, and a critical life event for me--that I was able to recognise this ambiguity and organised my thoughts. The moment of clarity was deeply profound when it came amidst the chaos. Warmth enveloped my entire being, my highly erratic pulse stabilised, and my agitation dissipated. It was a moment of liberation that I struggled to put into words. It was an experience so colossal in transforming me that I am excited to share my journey with everyone.